Author Topic: you can't leave ukraine for a trip if you have debts  (Read 2398 times)

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Offline cc3

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Re: you can't leave ukraine for a trip if you have debts
« Reply #15 on: 13:36 14-Mar-2019 »
There are millions of nice ladies in Ukraine with minimal or no debt. Move on; meet one or some of them.
"But if history teaches anything, it teaches that simpleminded appeasement or wishful thinking about our adversaries is folly. It means the betrayal of our past, the squandering of our freedom."

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Online bankerontheroad

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Re: you can't leave ukraine for a trip if you have debts
« Reply #16 on: 13:00 17-Mar-2019 »
Thank you again for all your answers. To answer all the questions of the post yes she has debt not related but connected to an apartment; she needed money when she was pregnant because of expensive treatment for the child and now if she doesn't pay her debts they take the flat and sell the flat to get their money
the credit situation in Ukraine is indeed very odious...I will follow the very good advise of pantherdk I think but before I have another and last questions..it is more about ukrainian mentality but connected to the subject...Through all her debts she needs to pay about 40000 grivnas for utilities because from what I have seen she has paid nothing since almost two years...So now she has with all her debts about 400.000 grivnas...But last time when we were together she asked me if we could buy a washing machine because her washing machine was broken and it was true and she has chosen a very good one. She asked me also if we could make a present to her mother who lives with her and keep the baby when she is at work and she has chosen a mobile around 8000 grivnas so not the more expensive and in more she wanted to pay by herself 1000 grivnas from this 8000 grivnas...And before yesterday I said to her that I wanted to make a present to her poor child who is sick again and she was very happy of course but she has chosen if it could be possible not a simple toy for a child ( less than two years) but an electric car for children who costs about 5000 grivnas ( ok the more expensive cost 10000 grivnas :)) because her child always cry when she sees others children with things like this and that of course in her situation she couldn't offer to her such a toy..My question is is it possible that for an ukrainian girl the pleasure to make happy her mother or her child is more important than to pay urgently utilities like gas or water or electricity ( the city cut already the hot water from what I understand) or it is me who is strange ;D Thank you in adance for sharing your opinion :D

Offline Pantherdk

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Re: you can't leave ukraine for a trip if you have debts
« Reply #17 on: 21:09 17-Mar-2019 »
Listen.

You need to start be a man in that relationship and not a wallet...

If you ove 40.000 in utility bills you not ask for expensive gifts...

And the child will be happy with cheaper electric car also.
This is crazy.

I would ASAP take a talk with the girl and find out if your and hers priorities are the same..
If your loaded and not care about beeing a wallet to her then continue but if you want a good relationship with her and a future and care about this you need take it up now.

If she owe the appartment, and you have alot of money.
Another option which also could be a test on her trust could be suggest her that she sell the appartment to you.
Price should maximum be official price or it could be debt+utility then it woulf be you appartment she just need to covers the utility.

Honestly your situation sounds like you beeing used somehow.

Offline Remington

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Re: you can't leave ukraine for a trip if you have debts
« Reply #18 on: 21:31 17-Mar-2019 »
I agree.  It sounds like your relationship with the girl is more about money than genuine relationship since you barely know her.  You're not going to make everyone happy with money and you will have to draw a line somewhere.  Ultimately, her debts are her responsibility... not yours.  If she can't manage her finances or debts and are you sure to want to take care of her debts for life?  Did you ask her how she plan to pay off her debts if you never met her?

Online Fraucha

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Re: you can't leave ukraine for a trip if you have debts
« Reply #19 on: 04:18 18-Mar-2019 »
I won't beat around the bush.

You are and IDIOT if you spend any money on this girl.
You are an IDIOT if you don't get out NOW.

This s h i t goes on all the time and there is always a IDIOT to pay for the pussy. Dude this is Ukraine where scammers abound....you have been and will be scammed for every cent you have for what? Poon??

This is NOT a relationship, this is a scam.

Move on to greener pastures there are tons of really nice girls in this country that don't want your money. Try harder.





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Online K24

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Re: you can't leave ukraine for a trip if you have debts
« Reply #20 on: 08:49 18-Mar-2019 »
I unfortunately have to agree with the previous comments.  Very much looks like a scam.

And even in the unlikely event that it is not:  By throwing money around, you have defined the basis of this relationship.  It won't get any better.

And if you do not believe it, then just stop paying and see what happens.   :'(

Online Tnic

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Re: you can't leave ukraine for a trip if you have debts
« Reply #21 on: 05:49 19-Mar-2019 »
Agree with all the above.

I would add;

NO self respecting UA girl would EVER ask for money for ANYTHING, no matter how desperate she is. 

Even after almost 3 years of marriage, my wife still finds it difficult to ask for money when I forget to load her wallet.  She's extremely frugal, btw and is constantly appalled at the amounts I spend sometimes.  Thought she was going to have a stroke when I cheerfully plopped down 400+ UAH for a 6pk of USA IPA.  :D

There are literally THOUSANDS of good girls out there.  Go find one that wants you for who you are, not what you can do for her.
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Online bankerontheroad

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Re: you can't leave ukraine for a trip if you have debts
« Reply #22 on: 09:33 24-Mar-2019 »
Hello guys Thank you for all the answers and really good help. So I need to keep you inform now about the end of the story. I realize in fact  one thing by reading especially the post of K24 that throwing money around, I have defined yes the basis of this relationship and that things could be only worst in the future. I said to her that I was ready to buy her flat and things to the money she could get she could cancel all her debts but she was furious about this and told me that if one day I changed my mind she will be in the street with her mother and her daughter...I said yes but it will be the same for me if I pay all your debts now and that immediately after you change your mind...and I stop writing or calling to her during 3 days and of course I received from her a lot of messages that she doesn't understand what's happen...even her mother send me a (nice )message to ask me what's happen because her daughter was crying all the time and sad and nervous and she was so happy when she met me and bla bla bla. May be it is true after all but I don't trust her anymore and i decided to stop now this relationship. End of the story as someone said there are millions of nice girls in Ukraine with probably better mentality. Thank you again to all of us because I am sure now that I take the good decision and believe me some weeks ago I was ready to pay all her debts..!

Offline UKUA

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Re: you can't leave ukraine for a trip if you have debts
« Reply #23 on: 09:58 24-Mar-2019 »
Hello guys Thank you for all the answers and really good help. So I need to keep you inform now about the end of the story. I realize in fact  one thing by reading especially the post of K24 that throwing money around, I have defined yes the basis of this relationship and that things could be only worst in the future. I said to her that I was ready to buy her flat and things to the money she could get she could cancel all her debts but she was furious about this and told me that if one day I changed my mind she will be in the street with her mother and her daughter...I said yes but it will be the same for me if I pay all your debts now and that immediately after you change your mind...and I stop writing or calling to her during 3 days and of course I received from her a lot of messages that she doesn't understand what's happen...even her mother send me a (nice )message to ask me what's happen because her daughter was crying all the time and sad and nervous and she was so happy when she met me and bla bla bla. May be it is true after all but I don't trust her anymore and i decided to stop now this relationship. End of the story as someone said there are millions of nice girls in Ukraine with probably better mentality. Thank you again to all of us because I am sure now that I take the good decision and believe me some weeks ago I was ready to pay all her debts..!

Well done! That must have been a very difficult decision, playing havoc with your emotions and train of logical thought.

Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to ..... who knows? Onwards and upwards, we hope, checking for any emotional baggage during the trip.


Offline AkMike

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Re: you can't leave ukraine for a trip if you have debts
« Reply #24 on: 10:27 24-Mar-2019 »
Even though you feel pain now it'll be much less than if you were to have continued on with a relationship with her. 
Look at the time spent as a bad investment that you learned a lesson from.   Just don't hold that against all Ukrainian women. Most aren't like this one.
In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One. Yakov Smirnoff

Offline Danno99

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Re: you can't leave ukraine for a trip if you have debts
« Reply #25 on: 11:16 24-Mar-2019 »
Glad you saw the light, but in many cases the scam is not so obvious.
My rule of thumb has always been, never get money involved in a dating relationship.

When you do, it is an incentive for even a normal girl to continue a relationship when her heart is not in it.

When dating, I will pay for food, taxi, flowers. Once you start buying phones, laptops and serious stuff, you confuse the relationship. I have known guys that did it and it worked out, but iMO it increases the risk dramatically.

PS: always google her email address.

Montaigne's axiom: "Nothing is so firmly believed as what we least know."

Offline Remington

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Re: you can't leave ukraine for a trip if you have debts
« Reply #26 on: 13:37 24-Mar-2019 »
Sorry that you came to that decision but it was the right thing to do otherwise you could get badly burnt at the end.  There were too many red flags with the woman you were dating especially she tried to make you feel guilty with a crying child.  She probably lied to make you feel bad.  I have a son from my prior marriage to Ukrainian woman and he lives with me.  I can tell you that children are usually very resilient when it comes to toys.  They know parents can't always afford to buy them everything.

I'm dating an Armenian woman and she doesn't want me to buy anything for her and she never asked for money.  She purchased a new apartment last year and it's still not completed.  Everything is basically a shell with no cabinets or anything like that.  When I offered to buy her kitchen cabinets, tables and she objected.  She said it was her responsibility and she have plans to buy stuff for her apartment herself.  She did take me out to dinner few times and paid taxi too.  We've been dating for a year and half.

That's the kind of woman you should be looking for.  Our relationship is based on genuine relationship... not money or lies.
« Last Edit: 13:53 24-Mar-2019 by Remington »

Online Tnic

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Re: you can't leave ukraine for a trip if you have debts
« Reply #27 on: 18:32 24-Mar-2019 »
Well done Banker...

It sucks now, but when you find that one in a million (I said thousands, but hey...) you'l have no questions or regrets.

Hope you stay with us and join our merry little band.
Recent science has shown that saliva causes cancer, but only swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.